Twinkle twinkle little star, how could you let Twilight get this far?

*shudders*

Oh. My. Gawd.

I finally decided to read the series that put Forks, WA on the map and caused thousands of hormonal hordes of screaming teenagers, tweens, and adults to flood the town. Yeah, I didn't have a clue what Twilight was till about a year ago. Saw some calendar with a creepy pale-skinned dude on it, with "Edward" written, and "twilight". I thought, 'oooooookay'.

Then came the movie. And came the Burger King endorsement. And then another movie. Moms, aunts, grandmas, sisters, most anything with an "x" chromosone was infatuated with this movie and the books. Soooo, I decided to read the books as often the movies do not portray the entire book.

After closing the book on the fourth book, I was clearly disappointed. My first thing: Tradition states vampires cannot stand sunlight. Honestly? "Skin glowing in the sunlight". Right. I will take the weakness bullhockey thank you. There must be weakness. There is a reason they are called "Children of the NIGHT".

They cannot stand silver. It is a binding mechanism for vampires. Period. End of Story. That's all she wrote.

Questionable is the cross thing, as originally the Devil created vampyres, and He himself was a fallen angel. So that one doesn't mind.

Now.. the one thing that gets me is the baby thing. Vampires are dead. No heart beating. Nothing to pump blood.

"The brain starts the changes that will produce an erection. As a result of psychological or physcial stimulation, the brain sends messages through the nervous system to the penis. These messages relax the smooth muscles in the blood vessel walls of the corpus cavernosum, causing them to open wider. When this happens, more blood flows through the vessels, filling the corpus cavernosum. At the same time, the veins that carry blood away from the penis shut down, causing an increase in blood pressure in the penis. The blood that is trapped within the corpus cavernosum causes the penis to become hard and erect."

Notice the continued use of the word "blood" and "flowing". How can a vampire, who has no beating heart, have the blood flowing in order to create and sustain an erection? And sperm? I just was led to believe that sperm dies within 24 hours or less of a person's death. So how did Edward managed to impregnate Bella? I mean, seriously it can't happen. Viagra?
Doesn't go towards the whole lil sperm-ies swimming up the Bella Channel theory.

Now, I can relate to the whole Imprinting Were Wolf thing... I much prefer Fur over Fangs baby. I was intrigued with the whole Mind-connection thing.Act as a pack, think like a pack.

I just really don't see how Twilight became as popular as it is.